Note that this isn’t a “copy/paste/share” post. Just an example of how 2 people mean the world to me. Posted by Matthew’s Dad, in honor of Matthew’s struggle with migraines, and Erin’s support of her stepson.

Of all the things Matthew could have inherited from me (intelligence, good looks, etc.) the poor kid got the curse that is hemiplegic migraines.

For those that don’t know (and thankfully have never suffered) hemiplegic migraines are a form of “headache” like no other.

It is really difficult to explain to people who get bad headaches and call them migraines, or even to true migraine sufferers of different types, but let me try to paint the picture.…

It is Friday evening and you just finished school/work and you are looking forward to a weekend of fun and relaxation. In Matthew’s current case he just celebrated his 12th birthday and was about to spend an extended weekend with me and his stepmom. He arrived at my house and was greeted as usual by two very happy puppies; just the mention of “where’s Matthew?” is enough to get them barking and running around in a frenzy of anticipation.

Matthew arrives and is 100% healthy and cheerful. We open birthday gifts and prepare to play some FIFA on the X-Box.

Less than 30 minutes later he is laid in a pool of his own vomit and suffering from a migraine so intense that he can’t bear any form of contact, light, or noise.

I personally suffered these types of migraines frequently from the age of 12 through to 30. And when I say frequently I mean once or twice a month and they would last up to 48 or 72 hours. Back then they didn’t have a fancy name and were known as “stress migraines”. I would regularly be laid low for an entire weekend and then be “better” just in time to go to school/work on Monday.

Let me describe how it feels….

The first “tell” that a hemiplegic migraine is about to start is with your eyesight. Your vision starts to go blurry and you have trouble focusing on reading your book/screen, or you have problems perceiving depth. Typically this affects one side of the body before the other. Imagine closing one eye and seeing everything perfectly, but with the other eye everything is blurred and out of reach.

The next stage is numbness of limbs and facial muscles. This is the most scary part because it feels like stroke symptoms. Coupled with the lack of vision from stage 1, this is incredibly frightening. Even if you know you are a migraine sufferer, and have survived them in the past, this is the stage where you seriously contemplate if you are going to survive. It is that real.

My personal experience, which is echoed by Matthew, is that one side of my body (usually the right) has a form of paralysis that means I can’t speak (my tongue feels like it is 5 times normal size), my hand and arm feel so heavy that it hurts to move them, I am super sensitive to light and touch (even having someone try to console me with a friendly pat or hug is excruciating).

Speech deteriorates to the point of incomprehension as the muscles of the face don’t respond to the signals sent by the brain. I remember one time I tried to take the train home when I was working in Birmingham (England) and a migraine started – people thought I was drunk and my appeals for help were brushed aside or laughed off because they thought I was just another “Friday night drunk”. In reality I was scared for my sanity and life.

Those are just the initial stages – maybe the first hour or two. Then we get to the real stuff…

Nausea. Oh my. You can’t believe how nauseous it makes you feel to be so sensitive to sound and touch. I was “lucky” that I wasn’t physically sick for most of my migraine episodes but poor Matthew has it worse than me – he frequently vomits when he is comatose from the pain of the migraine and it is only the support of his Mom and stepmom Erin Denise Walters that literally save his life.

I have an extremely low tolerance to pain, and seeing other people being sick. I was physically sick tonight when I should have been supporting my son. Erin, you are a rock star. Thank you so much for being the best stepmom and wife I could possibly imagine.

As a sufferer comes out of hemiplegic migraine the reactions and responses are often mixed, and somewhat peculiar. Often, I just want to sleep and get back to a normal rhythm. Sometimes (especially if the episode has lasted 48 hours or more) I am crazy hungry and binge eat twice my body weight!

More often than not I just try to get back to a normal routine – but I’m always looking out for the triggers.

If you, or someone you know, suffer from migraines (especially hemiplegic) please share this message and help family and friends recognize the symptoms and know what to do: minimize noise and light, respect social distance and touching, monitor for vomiting and choking hazards.

Migraine. It’s not just a headache.